book blogger · Mental Health Monday

Belated Mental Health Monday #2


Mental Health Monday was set up by my lovely friend Rebecca over at Bexcapades who you need to go follow now pretty please.

The idea came from Rebecca revisiting her depression diary from 2015 and deciding to share her experiences to show that light comes out of dark times.

So now, every first Monday of each month will be a Mental Health Monday where everyone can share their own experiences and a handful will be featured on Rebecca’s post each month.

If you want your post featured in Rebecca’s post, then make sure you share it with her on Twitter and mention her in the post, linking back to her blog.


I have always been a worrier which I suppose was an obvious indicator that I would suffer from anxiety. I hate using the word suffer because I don’t like to give anxiety that kind of power over me but unfortunately, it does.

My anxiety seems to be triggered mainly by crowds, people and stress. I struggle to walk through crowded areas such as shopping centres and I dislike those buses you have to get from the plane to the airport. I always grip whoever is with me when I feel the anxiety building up in crowds and have to take deep breathes and hope for the best. I know I probably shouldn’t get myself into those types of situation in the first place but I always think if I stop going into those situations then I’m letting anxiety STOP me. I can’t let it do that to me, I have my few minutes of absolute horror and anxiousness, take a breather and then I can relax…most of the time.

A prime example of when my anxiety kicks off can be spelled out in just 7 letters, P-R-I-M-A-R-K. This shop is the devil and yet I won’t stop myself going in because I know A) I can get a good bargain and B) I WILL SURVIVE AS LONG AS I CLING TO WHOEVER I AM WITH. It’s almost like a safety blanket for my anxiety, to hold on and tell myself it’s okay, it’s just people, slow down your breathing. I am so glad I am at this point and no further because I know a lot of people are worse off with anxiety than me.

Another example of my anxiety is at stressful times of my life. I hate it when I let something like work stress me out to the max and end up anxious every day about going to work. Waking up and telling myself not to go to work, ring up, call in sick, what can I say I have? A cold? A stomach bug? Maybe my car broke down? By this point, I haven’t even left the house yet and sometimes haven’t even gotten out of bed and I already panic about turning up.

I can get really anxious when at work too, like when there is a lot of pressure to get something done on time and I don’t have enough time in the day and then I think I’ll stay late after work. Then I have an argument with myself telling myself I don’t get paid for staying any later, no overtime opportunity there. As you can see the anxiousness builds up from there and I can feel the pit of my stomach hardening just writing this.

I also feel incredibly anxious when I don’t manage to work with all the children I need to in a day and panic about fitting in all of my interventions in the week. Friday can sometimes be a crazy rush of me trying to get it all done. No matter how many people tell me, ‘Mel, if it doesn’t get done it doesn’t get done’ I just can’t deal with it and my anxiety takes over until I’m panicking.

Overall, I find anxiety to be so detrimental to my health and this is why we need to speak up about mental health. It’s hard to share this but I’m hoping that we can make people realise mental health is just as important as physical health.

Again a very special thank you to my friend Rebecca for setting up this meme and giving people the courage to speak up about mental health. Feel free to comment if you share any similar anxieties, this meme is all about talking and promoting awareness of mental health.

Agony Aunt Mel


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